A Letter to My 15 Year Old Self

Thursday, 22 June 2017

A Letter to My 15 Year Old Self

Dear Emma, 

I know, it's hard. I know it's horrible and you have those thoughts ... continuously but you'll become so much stronger and help so many people by not pursuing them. Your confident underneath all that anxiety and depression, and yes you have anxiety and are depressed it's  just going to take a while for you to get it diagnosed, recognise it and come to terms with it. It will effect so many relationships and will continue too that you can't change, unfortunately, but it will also create so many relationships and help you to see a light in life that you didn't see before. 

You have to stand up for yourself and what you believe, if you don't think somethings right say something, speak up, be confident, be strong, be you. Your going to come across so many people who just don't like you, for no other reason than for just being you and that's okay because there them and your you and you do your on things. Keep your head down in school like you do and don't be too worried about those 'friendships' because you'll realise later on in life that they won't matter because the people who want to be your friend will stick around when you need them most, you'll learn that the hard way. 

Your not going to like mushrooms, cabbage or leek when your older ... no matter what your Dad says, your taste buds will not change and they will still all be rank.

Oh, and those body image concerns? Not being as skinny as everyone else, or as fit as everyone else, or having legs or abs like everyone else .... screw it. Your going to get to a point in your life where your so happy with your body and so confident in it you'll go to the beach one day in the UK no less, have your bikini on and sunbath and not give a damn what ANYONE else thinks .... and it'll feel epic. 

Your going to have a corner of the internet that's going to help you more than you can imagine and it's going to help others more than you could ever realise, your going to have moments when you just want to give up with it .... don't, keep going power through and you'll reap the rewards of what it can do for others. Ignore the haters, ignore the family/friends/work colleagues who disagree with you ... if you believe it's right and the mistake you have to make in order to be happy, make it. You have to make mistakes to learn from them and that's the greatest lesson you'll ever learn. 

And no matter what you think about any other metal in life, white gold is going to be your jam it's just going to take the right person to show you it is. 

You might not realise it or be told but your eyes and your smile are your best assets, look after them. There going to get you places and get you recognised, for all good things trust me! Your legs are long yes but that's what makes your waist look tiny and you'll learn the hard way by looking back at photos that you only really suit body con or close fitting dresses and outfits ... you cannot and i repeat cannot pull off skater of Aline, you look odd. Your beautiful inside and out you might not be told that very often but you are, and your worry will help also help so many people without you realising and sometimes you will realise because they'll find you. 

Remember, chin up, keep your head high and strong, heart full and mind positive, and remember you can change the world you just have to but try. 

Emma x

PS - If you want a tattoo(s) go and get it! Your worry may be a blessing but it can also be a pain in the arse. 

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